What I Know About Men*
When I was three, or maybe four, I interrupted my mother with a tug on her skirt while she washed the dishes. Looking up at her with a serious face, I said: “When I grow up you’re going to have to pack your bags and move out, because I’m going to marry Daddy.” My mother replied to my innocent and earnest command: “Of course darling – I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”
So it seems I’ve always been a little male-obsessed. I’ve thankfully moved on from my father, but I suppose I can blame it on being a daddy’s girl that I have ridiculously high standards when it comes to men.
My father was the perfect dad when I was forming all my subconscious attitudes towards men as a child. It’s because of him I know I couldn’t be happy with a silly young boy, and why I’m content to wait to find a real man. Most of my relationships have been with guys more mature than their years. Most failed because, really, boys don’t become men until they’re over 25 (perhaps even 35, but I’m an optimist).
I believe that a girl’s father builds the foundation for all her relationships with men. Mine has never treated me with anything but respect. I’m bossy and strong-willed and my dad was always trying to find the right balance between discipline and affection. Because of him I can’t stand weak men who’ll let me boss them around. My most serious boyfriend was caring and respectful, but no pushover. I test men by seeing how far I can go before they stand up to me. The right man, if there is such a person, will know when, and when not, to stand up to me.
It’s because of my dad that I know men can be just as sensitive as women. But a girl has to grow up and the biggest male influence in my life is now my brother. I’ve seen him fall deeply for an Irish girl, and I’ve seen him crushed when she broke his heart. He was my biggest inspiration when I had my own heart broken. He’s always helped me remember not to tarnish all men with the same brush, which is so easy to do when one has caused you pain. It’s not fair to blame the whole gender when one or two let you down. But I suppose that’s easy to say when you’ve already got two great men in your life.
*This isn’t a ‘diary’ piece – it was a writing assignment given to me.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized just how large of influence my own father has had on the way I perceive (and evaluate) men. My father is extremely hard-working — in fact, at one point in my childhood, I remember him working holding three separate jobs — and always ready to give of his time and energy for others, no matter how tired or busy he is. It is because of him that I find myself having a very low tolerance for men who can’t hold a job or who complain about having to work hard to earn a living.
There’s an interesting article from the Wall Street Journal, printed back in June, about the impact a father has on a daughter — you may be interested to read it: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118194944213937294.html?mod=weekend_leisure_banner_left.