What I Know About Men*

When I was three, or maybe four, I interrupted my mother with a tug on her skirt while she washed the dishes. Looking up at her with a serious face, I said: “When I grow up you’re going to have to pack your bags and move out, because I’m going to marry Daddy.” My mother replied to my innocent and earnest command: “Of course darling – I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”

So it seems I’ve always been a little male-obsessed. I’ve thankfully moved on from my father, but I suppose I can blame it on being a daddy’s girl that I have ridiculously high standards when it comes to men.

My father was the perfect dad when I was forming all my subconscious attitudes towards men as a child. It’s because of him I know I couldn’t be happy with a silly young boy, and why I’m content to wait to find a real man. Most of my relationships have been with guys more mature than their years. Most failed because, really, boys don’t become men until they’re over 25 (perhaps even 35, but I’m an optimist).

I believe that a girl’s father builds the foundation for all her relationships with men. Mine has never treated me with anything but respect. I’m bossy and strong-willed and my dad was always trying to find the right balance between discipline and affection. Because of him I can’t stand weak men who’ll let me boss them around. My most serious boyfriend was caring and respectful, but no pushover. I test men by seeing how far I can go before they stand up to me. The right man, if there is such a person, will know when, and when not, to stand up to me.

It’s because of my dad that I know men can be just as sensitive as women. But a girl has to grow up and the biggest male influence in my life is now my brother. I’ve seen him fall deeply for an Irish girl, and I’ve seen him crushed when she broke his heart. He was my biggest inspiration when I had my own heart broken. He’s always helped me remember not to tarnish all men with the same brush, which is so easy to do when one has caused you pain. It’s not fair to blame the whole gender when one or two let you down. But I suppose that’s easy to say when you’ve already got two great men in your life.

*This isn’t a ‘diary’ piece – it was a writing assignment given to me.

Watch out for the Pierce sisters

The Monte Water Rats club in Kings Cross has played host to many up-and-coming bands who have gone on to make it big, and on 16 November a small crowd saw three acts with the potential to hit the zeitgeist: Irish songstress Laura Izibor, quirky rock band Tankus the Henge, and Alabama sister-act The Pierces.

Izibor played a 15-minute set of original songs with a voice reminiscent of Amy Winehouse, though significantly less slurred. Emotionally-charged songs dealing with being in love to not believing in love at all showcased her as an intense performer relying on her voice to deliver impact rather than theatrics, and what a powerful voice it is. Her trouble is not lack of talent, but that her voice is so similar to Winehouse – a performer so very ubiquitous at the moment for all the wrong reasons. Izibor’s songs are well-crafted and passionate but, like her voice, suffer from a lack of originality – beautiful, easy to listen to, but not too dissimilar from other jazz acts around.

Theatrics were in high supply when Tenkus the Henge took to the stage. A four-man band fronted by a top-hat-wearing piano player called Jazz who narrated the show like a circus ringmaster, Tankus opened with their debut single ‘Smiling Makes the Day Go Quicker’ – a romping upbeat tune that, like its title suggests, had the audience smiling. A cheery selection of songs with similarities to Franz Ferdinand and The Hoosiers, the overall effect was a very British sound that will most likely appeal to the post-emo generation looking for fun, easy pop-rock.

The Pierces are two sisters with the same face and voice and contrasting hair colours; together they captivated the Water Rats as they sang their repertoire of hauntingly dark songs from their new album Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge. With just their voices, a bearded man with a guitar sitting well out the spotlight, and an occasional hammer on a xylophone, the pair performed a few original songs in the folk-alternative genre that is unlike anything in the charts right now. Perhaps it was indicative of their varying musical styles that they wore 1920s flapper dresses teamed with 1960s hippie headbands; and that they weren’t afraid to use some evocative whistling during one song clearly inspired by the deep-south of their American upbringing. The Pierces are an act that the Water Rats might be able to claim as one of their successes in years to come.