Primary Truthiness

Truth. Not often a word applied positively to politicians. But what about ‘truthiness’? Every time the presidential race heats up there’s talk of what would happen if Oprah, Montel, or Tom Cruise ran for office. But the surprising 2008 alternative to Hillary or Rudy is the Comedy Central ambassador for Truthiness himself – Stephen Colbert.

At first, no one seemed quite sure whether the announcement of his candidacy on The Stephen Colbert Show was one more joke inside the big satirical pun of a show that is often taken seriously by followers of his brand of ‘truth’. It’s possible the voting youth of America either don’t get the joke – or they don’t care. Political apathy is the dish of the day, or the decade, and as far as the under-25 demographic is concerned it’s all getting a little too serious these days.

Hillary is solemn and intense, and a lot of American’s find it outrageous that their sociologically progressive country has yet to be run by a woman. But no one seems quite sure what she actually stands for. She voted for the Iraq invasion, then against its reconstruction. But who cares, no one’s listening anyway. We’re all having too much fun picturing First Lady William.
Meanwhile Barack Obama is young, forthright, black, and handsome. American’s like their President’s pretty.

So the Democrats have a tough choice – to select their own new-millennium Presidential family dynasty while electing the first female Commander in Chief contender – or elect America’s first black candidate? It’s all too serious. And aspirational.

Republican voters barely have it any easier. Rudy Guiliani is Italian-American, which would be a Presidential first. He is an economic conservative and runs a hard line as far as his plans on foreign policy are concerned. Socially though he’s a liberal – his pro-choice stance on abortion has put off many potential backers. What to care most about? Dead Iraqis, or dead babies? This is too depressing – bring back an economic boom and let’s talk more about the environment!

Fred Thompson has Obama’s advantage of looking Presidential (though less eye-candy-ish), and he has Hillary’s advantage of being well known to Americans through his stint on Law & Order. But he is tough, and very, very conservative. Republican’s are worried about voting in a candidate who is too similar to Bush to have any hopes of winning next November. Dead Iraqi’s, dead babies, or a dead Republican party? Young American’s want the easy ‘90s back – the noughties are too damn serious.

Colbert was refused a place in the primaries by democrats in Delaware. His comedy news show remains reasonably independent by mocking both parties openly. Though it’s obvious to most viewers that the mocking of Republican’s is a little more visceral and, after all, the show is an offshoot of the liberal Daily News with Jon Stewart. The whole premise of Stephen Colbert’s humour is that he is portraying a Republican on a liberal show; he satirizes the conservative stereotype by openly eviscerating liberals. The effect is that it’s all a little below-the-belt – for both parties. Perhaps because of this he’s adored by Democrats and Republicans alike. Let’s call it the South Park Effect – if you make fun of everyone equally, you can be loved by all.

The point is that a lot of young people don’t care which party he supports. They are just sick and tired of pre-primary bitching about difficult issues we all know can’t be solved by either party any time soon. So why fight the impossible fight, why not just have fun instead?

Facebook – the social barometer of America’s youth for 2007 – is used by almost every college-aged person in the U.S.A. and as such it’s interesting to read the primaries buzz on the site. Immediately after Colbert made his ‘announcement’ a group emerged called ‘1,000,000 Strong for Stephen T Colbert’. Within a week, there were over one million group members signed up – to appreciate the joke, talk about why they wish it were true, and moan about the real candidates. What’s interesting is that Obama’s group has under 450,000 members months after it was established. Hillary’s group has under 10,500, Thompson’s stands at less than 7,000, and Rudy is at a paltry 837, as of the first week in December. This could be a reflection of the types of people that use social networking sites – young, college-educated liberals. But it says something about current attitudes to American politics that the youth of America would rather back a fun purveyor of Truthiness than by a person supposedly qualified for the job, such as a Senator.

The youth of America might well be understandably confused and angry at the big, global issues of our time. Every serious issue going has the backing of experts making compelling arguments on opposing sides. Maybe it’s time for us all to chill out and have a laugh. Republican or Democrat, Colbert won’t be running at all, but the joke is on the candidates who are less able to engage young voters, and get them to actually care about what they have to say, than the comedian who satirizes them. That’s the sad Truth.

What I Know About Men*

When I was three, or maybe four, I interrupted my mother with a tug on her skirt while she washed the dishes. Looking up at her with a serious face, I said: “When I grow up you’re going to have to pack your bags and move out, because I’m going to marry Daddy.” My mother replied to my innocent and earnest command: “Of course darling – I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”

So it seems I’ve always been a little male-obsessed. I’ve thankfully moved on from my father, but I suppose I can blame it on being a daddy’s girl that I have ridiculously high standards when it comes to men.

My father was the perfect dad when I was forming all my subconscious attitudes towards men as a child. It’s because of him I know I couldn’t be happy with a silly young boy, and why I’m content to wait to find a real man. Most of my relationships have been with guys more mature than their years. Most failed because, really, boys don’t become men until they’re over 25 (perhaps even 35, but I’m an optimist).

I believe that a girl’s father builds the foundation for all her relationships with men. Mine has never treated me with anything but respect. I’m bossy and strong-willed and my dad was always trying to find the right balance between discipline and affection. Because of him I can’t stand weak men who’ll let me boss them around. My most serious boyfriend was caring and respectful, but no pushover. I test men by seeing how far I can go before they stand up to me. The right man, if there is such a person, will know when, and when not, to stand up to me.

It’s because of my dad that I know men can be just as sensitive as women. But a girl has to grow up and the biggest male influence in my life is now my brother. I’ve seen him fall deeply for an Irish girl, and I’ve seen him crushed when she broke his heart. He was my biggest inspiration when I had my own heart broken. He’s always helped me remember not to tarnish all men with the same brush, which is so easy to do when one has caused you pain. It’s not fair to blame the whole gender when one or two let you down. But I suppose that’s easy to say when you’ve already got two great men in your life.

*This isn’t a ‘diary’ piece – it was a writing assignment given to me.

Watch out for the Pierce sisters

The Monte Water Rats club in Kings Cross has played host to many up-and-coming bands who have gone on to make it big, and on 16 November a small crowd saw three acts with the potential to hit the zeitgeist: Irish songstress Laura Izibor, quirky rock band Tankus the Henge, and Alabama sister-act The Pierces.

Izibor played a 15-minute set of original songs with a voice reminiscent of Amy Winehouse, though significantly less slurred. Emotionally-charged songs dealing with being in love to not believing in love at all showcased her as an intense performer relying on her voice to deliver impact rather than theatrics, and what a powerful voice it is. Her trouble is not lack of talent, but that her voice is so similar to Winehouse – a performer so very ubiquitous at the moment for all the wrong reasons. Izibor’s songs are well-crafted and passionate but, like her voice, suffer from a lack of originality – beautiful, easy to listen to, but not too dissimilar from other jazz acts around.

Theatrics were in high supply when Tenkus the Henge took to the stage. A four-man band fronted by a top-hat-wearing piano player called Jazz who narrated the show like a circus ringmaster, Tankus opened with their debut single ‘Smiling Makes the Day Go Quicker’ – a romping upbeat tune that, like its title suggests, had the audience smiling. A cheery selection of songs with similarities to Franz Ferdinand and The Hoosiers, the overall effect was a very British sound that will most likely appeal to the post-emo generation looking for fun, easy pop-rock.

The Pierces are two sisters with the same face and voice and contrasting hair colours; together they captivated the Water Rats as they sang their repertoire of hauntingly dark songs from their new album Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge. With just their voices, a bearded man with a guitar sitting well out the spotlight, and an occasional hammer on a xylophone, the pair performed a few original songs in the folk-alternative genre that is unlike anything in the charts right now. Perhaps it was indicative of their varying musical styles that they wore 1920s flapper dresses teamed with 1960s hippie headbands; and that they weren’t afraid to use some evocative whistling during one song clearly inspired by the deep-south of their American upbringing. The Pierces are an act that the Water Rats might be able to claim as one of their successes in years to come.

Life purpose

David Letterman – Everyone has a purpose in life. Maybe yours is watching television.